17 predictions for the final season of Breaking Bad
1. Walt Jr. is so devastated by his father being unmasked as a drug lord that he skips breakfast, but only for like a day or two.
2. All the pedophiles that were picked up off the street for looking like the Heisenberg police sketch photo are released.
3. When Walt is finally apprehended by Hank he immediately whips out his dick, hoping to blame the last two years on another fugue state. It doesn’t work.
4. Badger and Skinny Pete kiss on the lips. It’s just a quick peck, but then things are weird between them.
5. After having his brown bag lunch poisoned by Lily of the Valley, Brock decides to buy his lunch from the school cafeteria and gets regular food poisoning.
6. Season 5 Part 2’s answer to The Fly episode of Season 4 centers around Badger trying to pay his ConEd bill online.
7. Jesse somehow winds up raising Holly. Her first word is “bitch”.
8. Jesse tries to bring the kid who was murdered by Todd back to life using magnets. It doesn’t work. Jesse tries to kill Walter using magnets. It doesn’t work. After a lot of soul searching Jesse admits that he doesn’t know how magnets work.
9. Walt gets arrested, not for meth, but for ding-dong-ditching everyone in his neighborhood and jumping from the bushes to say he’s the one who knocks.
10. Hank didn’t figure out who W.W. is, he just realized he was about to have explosive diarrhea.
11. Walt’s superintendent leaves his 58th voicemail asking when Walt’s coming back to work.
12. Walt finally tries his own product and hallucinates Gale Boetticher in a somehow even weirder and creepier karaoke video.
13. Walt Jr. is Kaiser Soze.
14. Badger and Skinny Pete fool around, mostly over the pants stuff. Things are again weird between them.
15. Saul Goodman has a booze-fueled celebration with George Zimmerman’s lawyers.
16. After Obamacare is enacted, Walter White gives up the meth business, gets affordable cancer treatment, and happily reunites with Skyler. They adopt Frankie Muniz.
17. To spite Walt, Skyler has sex with Ted Beneke yet again.
Episode 1: Starbucks
Our first episode! We hope you like it. This episode includes advice on asking out your barista at Starbucks, and other sticky situations…